Thank-you, I had no idea

I have a pretty small body frame. 5'9" and about 127lbs, give or take a couple of pounds. My bone structure is quite small, although luckily I have never broken a bone (except for my baby toe on my right foot, which must have happened when I was quite young because I neither remember it nor have a reason for why it is slightly misshapen due to being broken - my husband recently discovered this fact and declares it is grounds for divorce as he finds it creepy looking and was not made aware of this "imperfection" pre-marriage).

Anyways, all of this small-ness and tall-ness has combined to have me "showing" our pregnancy fairly early on. I have had a distinguishable baby belly since probably about 14 weeks, and in the last couple of weeks, it has been *very* obvious. If one more person says "wow, you look really pregnant" I think I might kill them. Like geez, "oh really, do I? that *MUST* be what it is, thank you for clarifying, I thought I was just getting fat". I can appreciate that people mean well with these comments, but wow, people say the dumbest things to pregnant women.

Moving on to more positive things, we had our monthly checkup with the doc yesterday morning. We told him that we were hoping to find out the gender in advance, just for fun, and asked if the hospital would tell us at the ultrasound next week. Apparently it is our hospital's policy not to reveal gender, but he said that he could tell us! One of the nice things about having an ob-gyn for our baby doctor is that he has an ultrasound machine in his office. We listened to the heartbeat (163 bpm, it's been that high pretty much all along) and then he dumped the oh-so-cold ultrasound gel on and showed us our baby! We got the full on bum view, as if you were sitting on a chair and there was a camera underneath you, and it was amazing. You could see the wee bum, both legs, and at one point baby curled its feet under, and we saw the little toes! That was probably the most emotional moment I have had yet in this pregnancy, it was so fascinating.

Doc pointed out how the umbilical cord is resting between baby's legs, which makes determining gender a little more difficult for him, but he poked and prodded and looked all around, and finally said he's thinking that we're having a baby girl! Even with the cord in the way, he explained how he would normally be able to see some "boy bits" and he didn't see any, so his best guess for right now is that it's a Baby Girl for us! At our next monthly checkup in September he is going to take a look again, when we'll be farther along and hopefully he'll be able to see a more clear genital picture. All in all, we want a happy and healthy baby, so we would have been happy with either flavour ;) but it is pretty neat being able to say "she" and "her" and talking about our baby girl.

allow me to introduce myself

I have been called out by the oh-so-demanding Z to do an update. I suppose it is fitting, given that my last update was in January, which is a mere 7 months ago. Really, that's not too bad, it's not like it was 7 years ago. She's so demanding.

A lot has happened in that seven months of course. We decided back in late January or so that this would be the year we would try to conceive our first child, so off to the doctor we went to get all our ducks in a row. I had some bloodwork done, went off the pill, all systems came back "go" so we decided to hold off actively trying until closer to the wedding.

Well, as nature does have its way, the end of April rolls around and lo and behold, the stick says we're positive for pregnancy! We were both pretty damn excited and nervous and every other emotion at the same time. For the next few weeks we didn't tell many people other than parents and close friends and kept fingers crossed. All went well, the nausea was bad, but luckily I wasn't actually throwing up much and we decided to announce it "to the world" on our wedding day.

It was definitely a challenge, planning a wedding and a honeymoon while being pregnant - it made for a lot of stress, excitement, and emotion all at once! Our wedding day was everything we wanted it to be - except it was hot! Somehow we managed to pick what turned out to be the hottest day of the year to that point - it was an insane 37 degrees C out there! The guys in their tuxes and myself in a wedding dress, we certainly lost a few pounds worth of sweat. :) But it was a gorgeous day, the ceremony was beautiful, everyone cried, we got married, it was lovely! The reception afterwards was good food, not too much dancing (did I mention the heat?) but we had a great chance to visit with nearly all our friends and family. All in all it was a perfect day and I look back on it with fond memories, the greatest of which is that I now have a husband and an "official" stepdaughter.

The day after said wedding, we jetted off to Toronto to catch a flight to Jamaica! Unfortunately our Toronto - Jamaica flight ended up being delayed over 15 hours (never ever fly Skyservice, ever) and this did not exactly start our honeymoon off with a bang. We finally arrived in Montego Bay at 3AM local time and were quickly driven off to our resort, 1.5 hours away. The next day we got up and my god, that island is a beautiful place to be. Lush green fauna, amazingly crystal clear blue waters, it was truly beautiful. We spent the next two weeks eating and drinking (non alcoholic mostly!) and laying on the beach under "our" palm tree. It was blissfully relaxing and a great chance for us to reflect on everything that had happened over the last couple of months, and just decompress.

We flew home, enjoyed a week off at home with our daughter, and then back to reality.

Up next: Yes, thank you, I *know* I look pregnant...

2008 - The Year of the Wedding

Can you believe it is 2008 already? I think back to 10 years ago, when I was 6 months away from being finished with high school f-o-r-e-v-e-r and I remember how far away I thought this year was. The last 10 years have blown by, and I have experienced things I never even dreamed of as an 18 year old eager to get out of my parents house, out of high school, and on with my life.

Perhaps because I am getting married this year (me - married - who knew!), but I am really reflecting on the last 10 years this year, and I am also trying to imagine what the next 10 years will bring. Here is a small list of the things I have done in the last ten years, in a sort of order, because I LOVE LISTS:

• Graduated high school with honors
• Learnt that my dad isn't my biological father
  
• Moved out of my parents house, never to return! We hardly spoke for the next few years.
  
• Bought my first condo in Port Moody, BC
  
• Graduated from university with a Bachelor's degree
• Discovered my biological father committed suicide, and subsequently got in touch with his family, including my sisters, nieces, nephew, aunt and uncle, and cousins
  
• Bought my first house in Edmonton, Alberta
• Moved inter-provincially and lived in Edmonton for 2 years
• Travelled all over Canada on a quarterly basis for work, including going to Yellowknife in the Northwest Territories, the diamond mines 350km north of Yellowknife, to Thunder Bay, Ontario, and all over BC and Alberta
  
• Ended an unhappy 5 year relationship and promised myself I would never live that way again, I probably learnt the most about myself and what I want and don't want during this breakup
• Built an amazing career with good experience and solid education
  
• Bought my first apartment completely on my own, and without even seeing it
  
• Moved interprovincially again, to beautiful Penticton, BC completely cold turkey, without knowing a soul
• Took a job that is 8 - 4 and allows me to concentrate more on my life outside of work
  
• Joined a baseball team and fulfilled a lifelong 'dream' of playing slo-pitch socially
• Got set up on a blind date, went, and am now marrying this same man
• Made some of the best friends I have ever had here in Penticton by making an effort to be more social, and valuing those friendships
  
• Learnt that having kids is worth it by having the most beautiful and amazing stepdaughter in the world

When I read back over that, and contemplate some of the things that I am not going to post here, I have had a pretty successful 10 years since high school. They were not at all like I imagined my life "before 30" was going to be, but for the most part, I also wouldn't change a thing. All of these experiences, they have made me who and what I am today, for better or worse!

The next ten years will be interesting ones. Now that I have a solid career in my field, the big changes are going to be on the personal front. Getting married this year will definitely be one of the highlights of my life, and I am terrified, but so excited at the same time. Eventually I imagine we will have children of our own - even though right now this still scares me. My biggest goal for 2008 is probably to spend more time with my family, visiting my parents and my brother more regularly. Other than that, just continuing to live my life and try to make the best of it.

Happy New Year everyone.

Happy Halloween!

October has been a busy month - we've had the StepDaughter nearly every weekend, and that always keeps us hopping! Last Friday we took her to the Halloween Pumpkin Patch Carnival and she quite enjoyed that, they had a dance floor for the kids and everything, it was quite cute to watch her dance. If only there weren't so many of those scary skeletons around! She is quite afraid of skeletons for some reason, and of course, that seemed to be every boy's costume of choice. She was quite upset they wouldn't take off their costumes for her, hahaha. Trick or treating tonight will be fun!

I think we have figured out what we want to use as centerpieces for the wedding, and it will only cost about 1/4 of what we budgeted for, so that is GREAT. Something under budget for once, amazing, I know! I am still waiting for the papers to start making the invites, I am quite frustrated with the whole process. I wish cross border online shipping was just.. better. 90% of the time it works, and it's fantastic, but then that one time that a parcel goes missing, well, it sucks.

Other than that, life is alright. We both seem to be in a "rut" right now and that kind of needs to change... but we're working on it and that is all that matters! The changing from summer / fall to winter always sucks. I need snow tires.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Wow. I don't even have an excuse for not posting in the last two months. Can I use wedding planning as an excuse? Probably not. *pout*

Anyways, yes, wedding planning! It is well underway, the date, venue, DJ, photographer, and most importantly, the dress are all picked / purchased / deposited. Saturday June 28 at a local golf course in Penticton, for those of you wanting to know! I could go on and on and on, but, I won't. Hee hee.

Other than that, life as usual. I swear to god, no matter how hard you try to get out of debt, something else rises up and kicks you in the ass. It's kind of frustrating, just how much money life costs. Money might not buy happiness, but it sure as hell buys stability, and I could sure use some more of it. Also, I am addicted to Ikea right now. Someone stop me.

Finally, my congratulations to Z and her family, who will be welcoming a new addition to the family next spring! YAY!

We're engaged!

Last Monday, our two year anniversary, my boyfriend popped the question, I accepted and we are now engaged. So very exciting!!! Wedding is to be in Summer 2008 sometime.

I haven't updated in a while. I suck. We have been so busy running here and there and being social, it's a bit crazy. The puppy is now officially six months old, so cute, and so precocious. He gets neutered in 3 weeks (yes, I hear you males cringing, and I also hear the females whooping) and hopefully said neutering will calm down his aggression while playing a bit. He thinks he is a very tough dog, but only when he is holding onto either of his rope toys. They must be like when Superman puts on the cape or something, he transforms not into a superhero but a Super Tough Dog! Someone should let him know he's a golden retriever, and a pussy (which he is when he's not holding onto said rope).

I am on this crazy "pay off this debt" kick right now. I hate debt. I hate credit cards. I hate how easy the banks / credit card company / my brain make it to spend money that you don't have. I refuse to do it any longer! I want to be debt free (well, except for the mortgage. any decent house here costs an arm and a leg, and it will take you at least 25 years to buy them back) and I want to live within my means. Wish me luck.

Next week we leave for an 8 day long camping trip, to celebrate our two year anniversary. Should be nice and relaxing, lots of sleeping in, fishing, reading, and just relaxing by the lake. Much needed, let me tell you!

Much Ado About Nothing

Life has been busy lately, running here and there doing this and that. I have been taking cake decorating classes once a week, and that is actually kind of fun! Although I think I am mostly doing it for the opportunity to eat the icing, hee hee hee.

Father's Day was low key. We had the stepdaughter all weekend, and she gave her dad a couple of crafts and a backcountry map book. She also wrote the word "dad" on the card which was kind of special, since it's the first time she's done that.

We're going camping this weekend, and next weekend, and then to visit my parents the weekend after that, so it is going to be a busy month. The puppy is in Level 2 of his obedience classes on Monday nights, so I feel like right now I am just going through the motions to get everywhere we need to be and get everything done that needs doing. It is annoying, and I would much prefer life to settle down and give me a day to relax. Just one day!

Step Me

Sometimes I sit back and daydream about what I used to think my life would be like as an adult. Back when I was a teenager, I used to spend hours of time thinking about how perfect my life would be once I moved out. I was fiercely independent, and my mother is fiercely stubborn, that's probably all I need to stay.

Never in my daydreaming did I imagine I would date a man with a child, or become a stepmother.

This is probably something that I struggle with the most in my day to day life. The Stepdaughter is a great kid, and she is pretty strong and well adjusted for the less-than-ideal family situation she is stuck in, but on the other hand, she is definitely the biggest strain on my relationship with The Man. Certain events in the beginning of our relationship didn't do anything to ease this strain, some of which has more to do with her mother than with the stepdaughter. Sometimes these, well, negative feelings can be overwhelming and it's hard to stay focused and positive about the situation, and I find myself sitting back and thinking about exactly what role I want to play in this, if any.

But then there are also the positive moments. Like this past weekend, when we're sitting out on the front steps, just her and I, eating chocolate dunkaroos (yum!). I finish mine (she may be the world's slowest eater) and she looks over and says "your dunkaroos are in your tummy and now you will get big and strong" and pats me on the belly.

Or when I tell her that I am her stepmom and she is my stepdaughter and she announces to the back yard that I am going to step her, haha, and proceeds to run around the kiddie pool while I try to step on her feet.

So I guess if my only role in this is to step her, I can probably handle it.

To cat or not to cat

We had a new loveseat delivered today, and they took the old one away. We bought new living room furniture (couch, loveseat, chair) when we moved into the new place, and I discovered one day that the back of the loveseat inside was wrecked. Since it's under warranty, I called the Company Named After A Piece of Masonry and they sent out their repair tech. He gave me the option of them taking away the loveseat, fixing it, and bringing it back 2 - 3 weeks later, or just exchanging it for a new one.

Gee, that was a hard decision.

So today we got our new loveseat. Which is fantastic, because, despite my best efforts, the cats have been using portions of the couch and loveseat as a scratch post. Despite having a scratchpost next to each piece of furniture. Sigh. The loveseat was the most wrecked (and it wasn't overly noticeable if you don't live in our house and aren't obsessive compulsive) but Muffin was rather pissed off about. So new loveseat = less pissed off Muffin.

Now hopefully the cats leave the new one alone. He wants to get them declawed, I absolutely refuse. I have heard of those plastic caps for kitties' claws - anyone have any personal experience with those? I tried buying that "this stuff is supposed to stink and keep the cats away" stuff, but it didn't work. Covering the corners with aluminum foil worked (they only scratch at the corners) but really, who wants aluminim foil over their couch corners 90% of the time?

May long weekend camping was fabulous - ridiculously busy, but fabulous. I again leave you with a precious picture of my baby and his momma.

Roughing It

I have to say, as much as I love my boyfriend, having a break this weekend was nice! I was able to catch up on the housework, take my precious puppy for more than a few leisurely walks, spend some time cleaning my car, and just take it easy. Saturday night I also went out for dinner with a girlfriend, that was a lot of fun. I do think that breaks are important, especially when you're at the point of wanting to kill each other. Last night we went out together for ice cream, and it was a lot of fun so thanks for that baby. :)

We are going camping this weekend, leaving Thursday right after work! 4 nights / 5 days of magical campingness, I'm rather excited for that!! It'll be Chevy's first camping trip, he's going to have so much to smell and explore, hehe. We're going with some friends of mine from the Coast, I'm really looking forward to seeing them. Camping wahoo!

I now leave you with another cute picture of one tired out puppy dog:

Sports!

Goddamn Canucks. Deep down I did know they were going to lose to Anaheim, so there was really no surprise, but it was so exciting that they were in the second round. I think overall they put forth a good effort, and I'm excited for next hockey season.

The Boyfriend is going camping with a buddy this weekend, so I get the house all to myself (and the puppy!). I am really looking forward to it, because I have been feeling so overwhelmed by life lately. It seems like my "to do" list just keeps getting longer and longer, and I can't get a grasp on it, and I hate it. I feel like there is no end, and I just feel stressed about it in general. Plus, I'm stressing about money, the lack of which I have no control over, and it is making me very short-tempered and irritable, and is seriously fucking up my sleep schedule. I am hoping to get caught up on everything this weekend, have some serious "me" time, and get myself back into a positive space. Life is so overwhelming sometimes.

In happier notes, is this not the cutest picture ever:

Not so smug now...

Well, we'll see how they do tonight. I may be buying a Dad Gone Mad tshirt tomorrow. Sigh. Stupid 'nucks. Damn ducks.

Bring It!

In the interests of friendly hockey wagering, I have agreed that if the Vancouver Canucks lose the series to the Anaheim Ducks (hah! as if) I will buy one of Dad Gone Mad's tshirts.

In the almost certain event that the Ducks lose, he will send me one free.

I love free stuff.

Down at the Coast

I'm in Vancouver this week for some super duper exciting Microsoft SQL Server 2005 training. I know, it really is as thrilling as it sounds. **eye roll** When I arrived Monday night, the Canucks had only 10 minutes left in Game 7, and I have to say, Robson Street was insane. Cars and people everywhere, fireworks, drinking, yelling, honking, etc. I can't even imagine what it would have been like if they had lost.

It is always weird coming back to "the coast" when I have so many memories of living here. Just driving down the Lougheed Highway the other day, pulling into the Superstore for some munchies - I used to do all my grocery shopping at this store on a regular basis back in the day. I get stressed out driving down Hastings and I remember when I used to do that on at least a monthly basis, and it was no big deal. The crowds annoy me, the traffic is completely ridiculous, and I catch myself wondering why on earth someone would want to live here. Then I remember that I did.

If you like reading at all, you have to read the book called "Stumbling on Happiness" by Daniel Gilbert. Yes, it is a non-fiction work by a pyschology professor, but it is not a self-help book. What it is is a fun and interesting read about how the human mind works, and how we interpret the feeling we call "happiness". It is the best book that I have read in recent memory, and I laughed at loud at several points. It won't tell you how to "find" happiness, or make yourself happy, but it will give you is an interesting understanding of how the brain tricks us on a daily basis. :) Read it!

A Puppy Update

I took the precious boy to the vet yesterday, he is a whopping 23 pounds! He was a mere 7.5lbs when we first brought him home 4.5 weeks ago. How the time does fly!

I'm standing on one side of the examination table, the vet is on the other, the dog is on the table between us. Now that I've set the (obvious) scene, said vet looks at me and says "Let's check to make sure he has two testicles".

Honestly? Fly at 'er buddy, if you really want to fondle my dog's testicles, more power to you. I, on the other hand, could really care less.

The vet fondles away and concludes that our brilliant puppy does, much to his father's relief, have two testicles descending. Yay?

A few minor things later (listening to the heartbeat, feeling up the ribs, etc) and the vet goes "and how was he with the temperature taking last time?". We didn't take the temperature last time, so I guess he was fine? Hah. (This wasn't our regular vet as she was away on vacation. Must be nice). So this vet pulls out his handy thermometer, throws a plastic sleeve on it, and puts some treats on the table. He then proceeds to stick his handy thermometer up my dog's ass, and after what seems entirely too long, shows me the temperature of 37.5. Which is perfect, apparently. He then takes off the plastic sleeve and lets my dog sniff the very item that was just up his ass.

In the space of 10 minutes, my dog got his testicles fondled and an instrument shoved up his ass. I think he's seen more action than I have in the last week. ;)

I hate being busy

Well, the last couple of weeks have been a bit busy! Baseball (slow pitch) is in full swing, and I am happy to be playing again this year. So far we have won one, lost one, and tied one, so that is magical really.

We found out a couple weeks ago that the stepdaughter would be relocating to Calgary. This was very sad news - the boyfriend was especially going to miss his daughter, but we were both looking forward to having longer periods of time with her when we did have her. Then when we dropped her off this weekend, he found out that said move is no longer happening. This is good, in that she will be close, but it has some small negatives as well. Overall, life will remain the same, so all that stress and so on for nothing.

We went to see my parents on the Sunshine Coast over Easter, and we took said stepdaughter with us. It was her first time seeing the ocean, going on a ferry, it was a weekend of many firsts. She had a really fun time and is already asking to go back! I will post some pictures of the weekend after I find the stupid cable to download said pictures.

The puppy was 12 weeks old yesterday, and he knows "sit", "come", and "down". He is so precious. The peeing and pooing on the rug, however, is not quite as precious. It's amazing the stink that can come out of something so small!

Other than that, life goes as normal. I really want to put up the pack of 7 assorted sized round mirrors in the guest room, and officially label that room as finished! The bathroom is next up, I am going to be painting it a kind of orange-y colour, I am excited and nervous about that all at once!!!!

I'm a Horrible Person

Dear The Girl,

I will, I promise.

Cuddles

Play ball!

First baseball practice tonight, so stoked! Here's hoping I can unearth my glove and batting gloves from the depths of our so unorganized I can't stand to go down there basement. The first game is on Sunday, and the forecast is calling for wet flurries. Sweet.

Overcoming their fears

The precious puppy has learnt not to be afraid of going down the stairs, and is now doing it all by himself! Such a big boy!

And, the precious stepdaughter has learnt not to be afraid of the puppy, and they were rather cute running around the field together last night.

How my life has changed. :)