Step Me

Sometimes I sit back and daydream about what I used to think my life would be like as an adult. Back when I was a teenager, I used to spend hours of time thinking about how perfect my life would be once I moved out. I was fiercely independent, and my mother is fiercely stubborn, that's probably all I need to stay.

Never in my daydreaming did I imagine I would date a man with a child, or become a stepmother.

This is probably something that I struggle with the most in my day to day life. The Stepdaughter is a great kid, and she is pretty strong and well adjusted for the less-than-ideal family situation she is stuck in, but on the other hand, she is definitely the biggest strain on my relationship with The Man. Certain events in the beginning of our relationship didn't do anything to ease this strain, some of which has more to do with her mother than with the stepdaughter. Sometimes these, well, negative feelings can be overwhelming and it's hard to stay focused and positive about the situation, and I find myself sitting back and thinking about exactly what role I want to play in this, if any.

But then there are also the positive moments. Like this past weekend, when we're sitting out on the front steps, just her and I, eating chocolate dunkaroos (yum!). I finish mine (she may be the world's slowest eater) and she looks over and says "your dunkaroos are in your tummy and now you will get big and strong" and pats me on the belly.

Or when I tell her that I am her stepmom and she is my stepdaughter and she announces to the back yard that I am going to step her, haha, and proceeds to run around the kiddie pool while I try to step on her feet.

So I guess if my only role in this is to step her, I can probably handle it.